There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
