Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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