I feel like abortions should bother me more
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Randomize
