I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
two words: eviction party
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
