I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You were trust falling into bushes
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
