He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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