so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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