mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
