i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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