Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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