you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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