The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
