Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
