he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
