I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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