Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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