dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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