I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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