Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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