I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
