And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I got inside last night via doggy door
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
