Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
