I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my liver is dry heaving
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
