Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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