I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
