So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
As shirtless as possible
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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