She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
