I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
