Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
