I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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