After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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