ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
