the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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