just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
