i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
