God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The power of my boobs compel you
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
