Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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