Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
