Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
