Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
