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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
