I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
As shirtless as possible
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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