I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
