It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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