what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
