I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
