i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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