She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
