I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
