we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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