he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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