i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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